in security

Every day I'm hopeful that what we have between us continues to grow. Every day I wake up in love. Wanting to shout from the tops of the hills just how good it feels to finally let my feelings be. Every night I go to bed praying once again for your happiness, and for mine, and for ours together, or for ours separate. Whichever we are meant to have. I can't see six months ahead. But from my rearview mirror hang the broken pieces I will never be able to put together again. I have this string tugging at my heart. Because at any second this wonderful feeling can be yanked from underneath me. And leave me just as quickly as it came before. The insecurity and uncertainty of where our hearts will go and if we'll choose to follow tears at me most days. I try not to let it. Carpe diem my love. You are here in my arms today. And today I will kiss your sweet lips and allow my feelings to spill on your chest and draw paintings of smiles and laughter with the memories that we've already made. I've taken 12 months five times over to get ttto know you, and get to know us, and get to know him, and get to know me. I've grown and adjusted. I've conquered and survivved. I've miserably failed, and made mistakes, and tried again. And in all, all I know is that I'm happiest when I can be all of me with you near. And I don't ever want it to go away. But I already know how it feels when it does and I pray that it won't. Unselfishly I pray ... in securely I sleep. In this silence I impatiently wait

3 years old

My beautiful boy is turning 3 years old! I can't believe i'm a parent to this amazing wonderful child. He's changed my life forever, and continues to change it every day. One of his hugs, one of his smiles ... the excitement in his voice when he answers the door after my long day at work. His lil kissess and hugs, and hilarious and observant remarks. Everything about this gifted boy is amazing. Even his sleepy tantrums over hot dogs and eggs. And his obsession with sponge bob square pants (whom i've grown to love).

Three years of growing up for both of us. Three wonderful years as a family. Three unbeliavable years of sacrifice and laughter. Three years of tiny feet and swimming lessons, and bath time, and bedtime stories, and monsters in the backyard, and silly faces.

My my my. Three years of falling in love every single day. I hope everyone gets to be this lucky. I look forward to every second of his smiles to come. I can't ask for life to be much better than this.